butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
