At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
