took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ketchup is God's man juice
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
