It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
