D3 body, D1 cock
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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