My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
