It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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