I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
