Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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