Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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