My brain says no but my pants say off.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
