I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
