That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dick very happy bro
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
