So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
where are you?
Hypothermia
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
