I cannot find my penis.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
