I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
