tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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