Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
