WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
