no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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