problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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