Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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