i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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