how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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