We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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