butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
