Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
