I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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