Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
