I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
