Bisexual people are plain selfish.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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