it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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