So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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