my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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