I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
