dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
