Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
