thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
