Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
