she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
