So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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