so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
