9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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