I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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