my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
