Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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