Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
