That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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