please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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