then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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