y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
